Amidst all the programs that keep on emerging, it’s getting harder and harder to discern between all the “sunshine”, “riches”, “success”, “opportunities” and other collocations with which they try to brand our brains.
I mean, I get it, guys, they’re trying to sell a product just like everybody else, but it would be amazing if they cracked a dictionary now and then and just think of something different. Or, another choice, open a dictionary of quotations, that’s an equally wise choice. Which is – coincidentally, right? – what today’s protagonists seem to have done.
Let’s start with the facts, though, amigos. First of all, Roulette GURU is an unregistered company that does not denounce this very fact, which is unusual in itself. What we do know about Roulette GURU is that the “registrant contact” with which a whois search provides us is “No. 61 Wanghai Road, Xiamen Software Park xiamen fujian 361008”. The website, however, informs us that the whole “reliable Roulette system” was developed by Sebastian Blitzer and Peter Herlinger. Yes, those are German names, as far as one can tell. The whole origins story is simple: poor students, money was short, “some decent extra bucks” were always appreciated. Fast forwarding to now, “what started as a hobby well over a decade ago, has [...] become a profitable full time occupation”.
What we also know is that the domain has been created just recently, on April 12, 2013, and expires within a year. Also, according to Roulette’s page, the website is also “protected by BlockDOS against DDoS attacks” and secured with the standard, one-year, Comodo-issued PositiveSSL certificate valid since April 26, 2013. If you need more information regarding the company or the program, you should peruse the well-prepared FAQ section which answers pretty much all the questions you may have.
Amigos, now that we’re done with the stone cold facts, let’s divulge into the search for what I love the most, namely the details. To start with, the website is quite user-friendly and provides a potential member with all the necessary information. While it may not the most innovative or graphically sophisticated page, it is not entirely unappealing. As promised in the introduction, the creators have found a rather creative way to combine their idea with some well-known theories and they did it by means of a quote. The choice of the “speaker” speaks volumes not only of the creators, but also of their PR sense.
After all, Stephen Hawking is truly beloved and respected, not to mention, immensely popular right now. However, it would have been nice to, ekhm, wait for it, spell his name correctly, now wouldn’t it?! Dear Roulette GURU, let me assure you that it is, in fact, spelled Stephen Hawking NOT Stephen Hawkins, OK? If you do not trust me, try and google the name.
Still, in today’s world of dyslexia and dys-everything, I normally tend to be rather lenient as far as spelling is concerned, but when you actually quote somebody, it would be really, honestly, totally cool if you could spell his name right. Anyway, at least the quote itself is mostly correct, “"all the evidence shows that God was actually quite a gambler, and the universe is a great casino, where dices (sic!) are thrown and roulette wheels spin on every occasion". Amigos, now, I kind of think that the Roulette GURU guys tried to be overly correct here, since the plural of die is in fact dice, so there’s no need to make it even more plural. But let’s appreciate the effort, right?
OK, enough with all my silliness, amigos, let’s get down to business. How does Roulette GURU work? The “unique and proven Roulette System Strategy” is, according to the website, a way that provides five friends with “financial independence” which enables them to enjoy their lives “traveling through Europe’s greatest cities”. Naturally, it seems like an idea exploited in every movie from the original Ocean’s Eleven to Rain Man.
So, how Roulette GURU’s system is any different, you may ask? “Using the probability theory to analyze and compare sequences of patterns and testing them with a computer simulation of millions of authentic spin results, which can be downloaded from almost each European Casino, we've developed a system that is very difficult to be beaten by the house. At least - up until today, it hasn't happened”. I hope that cleared that out for you.
The investment plan is actually amazingly straightforward in comparison: you get 3% daily for 90 business days with a minimum investment of $10 and the maximum set at $20,000, with “the total minimum guaranteed interest estimated at 270%”. Payouts take no longer than 24 hours (“except for weekends”), even though they are handled manually. Compounding is available (“the minimum reinvestment from the available balance is $10”) and so is a returnable principal (“after the lock-in period”).
The interest is paid on business days, from Monday to Friday, and “is credited to the Cash Balance daily from Monday to Friday around the same time the deposit was made”. When it comes to reinvesting, you can do it as many times as you want or need, but remember that “each deposit or reinvestment creates a new 90 day term”. To deposit your money you can use all the major players: Liberty Reserve, Perfect Money, SolidTrust Pay and Egopay, but be sure to use USD only. What’s also interesting is that you can have “as many accounts as you wish”. Bear in mind, however, that in order to sign up you need to give your name, surname, birthday and country information.
In case you require any further assistance, amigos, you can contact the GURU’S via e-mail (email@example.com), Skype (RouletteGURU) or using the website’s feedback form. If you are a fan of the great Stephen Hawking, or you are Stephen Hawking, be sure to say “howdy” using one of those means of communications, will you? And if you are the latter, please, please, please, send me the transcript afterward. After all, since life is just a game, let’s have some fun, amigos!