Hola mis amigos!

While not everything in life is fun and games, some things at least remain games. With their jazzy name and the everlasting need for gambling and conflicts in the world, Jazzle Games may be a choice of many addicts and agnostics alike.

Without sparking a philosophical debate, Jazzle Games rightfully claims that ”conflict is inherent to human nature” and, therefore, ”arms trafficking will always be in demand.” Yes, it is kind of depressing, amigos. But this does not mean that it is not true, right? Moreover, ”despite all prohibitions gambling has always been and will be present in this world in one way o another.” This approach seems very logical and down-to-earth, and Jazzle Games dazzles the reader with all the numbers and quotes necessary to prove this point. When reading this, I had a certain Gatsbyesque vibe: no matter the laws, people need to drink and have fun. Or, in this case, buy guns and gamble. Hopefully not at the same time.

Not much is known about the company or the domain. The ”About Us” section is mostly devoted to the typical platitudes so often found online like ”impeccable efficiency,” ”maximum profit,” or ”minimum risks.” We do, however, get to learn about their interests and priorities. such as: ”construction of casinos in offshore areas” by ”purchasing land plots in an offshore area,” ”[providing] complete legal support,” ”[developing] a project on a turn-key basis,” and ”[ensuring] launch of business”. What remains mystery is how long Jazzle Games has been doing this as a company or who are the people behind the scenes. But the proverbial ”scenes” are well-designed and pretty. The website (available in English and Russian) runs smoothly, the graphics are evocative and, all in all, provide the user with an enjoyable experience. That is, when you turn the music off. I will never understand the online need for synesthesia... This entire experience has been secured with Comodo RSA Extended Validation Secure Server CA, valid from October 27, 2017 to October 28, 2018, purchased by Jazzle Finance Limited. According to the ”Contacts” section, the main office is located in the UK (50 Broadway, London).

Registering is easy: you only need to invent a login and give them your e-mail address. Choose a login you truly love, because you may register only one account. You can use your Perfect Money, Bitcoin, Payeer, AdvCash, Yandex Money, Dash, Nix money, Ethereum, Monero, or Payza account to fund your e-wallet. Once you are in, you may choose one of five investment plans: “107% for 7 days” ($10-$100), “3.6% daily for 50 days” ($20-$5000), “1.8% daily for 40 days” ($1000-$10000), “2% daily for 77 days” ($3000-$300000), or “2.2% daily for 70 days” ($10000-$50000). Unfortunately, even after registering, logging in and trying to deposit money, you will not know much more about the plans. I guess when you gamble, you are used to, well, gambling.

Withdrawing is free of charge and starts at $0.1. Your profit and your payments are accrued automatically; the same is true for the affiliate program. Oh, yes, did I not mention it? There is one, paying 8%, 3%, 2%, 1% or 0.5%. As far as the principal goes, it depends on your weapon of choice (sic!): “[d]epending on the investment plan you chose, the profit is formed from the accrual percent and deposit”. You can make as many deposits as you wish. This casino is never closed.

If you are really feeling Jazzle Games, you may become their representative. All you need to do is “contact the Project Administrator, and also have a deposit of $1000 and the amount of deposits of the involved partners over $10000 in the first line”. To sum up, you need to engage before you really engage. Once you are really committed to this relationship, you may become I, II, III, IV, or V Level Representative, which pays – respectively – 12%, 4%, 3%, 2%, or 1% referral. Speaking of contacting the administrators – to do so, you may use Jazzle Games' phone number (+2332193922) or their ticket system. Yes, amigos, that is it. I have to admit, I respect Jazzle Games' approach towards availability. Less is more, amigos.

When it comes to sources, you can rarely beat urban dictionary (the most thoroughly edited work ever, obviously. Voltaire, I am looking at you!) and the Internet as the quote Bible. It joys me beyond words to combine the two in my summary: “jazzle” as something “so cute and clumsy that you just can't help but fall in love with them” and a quoting favorite, Edmund Burke, “Gambling is a principle inherent in human nature”. Think about it, amigos. Jazzle Game is so cute you can't help it, and gambling has been inside you the entire time. Cuteness + destiny. How do you beat that?

Yours truly,
mm_aficionado